I have seen the debate going around if parents should let their children have a choice in something that matters; like schooling, doctors, meals, family events and so on and so forth. Before I tell you what I think do you let your child have a say in what goes on in there life? Let me know in the comments why or why not.
The answer should be YES for everyone! Now I bet you think I am crazy and you want to click away.. but just wait! I said that they should have A choice in the matter, not the final choice. There are so many reasons why the answer is yes, but here are my top 3 reasons:
- Your job is to teach and mold your child into a functioning adult. You do that by helping and guiding them not controlling them!
- Helping make important decisions give them confidence that they will be able to make the correct or good choices in the future alone.
- Letting your child make choices in their own life assist them with self-discovery.
So ok. You’re now like ok her daughter is only 4 what decisions does she even want to be making.. My daughter is a very self-independent child that is well beyond her years. She made her first life-changing choice about a year ago. Here is how that story goes-
We got up one early morning, ate breakfast and headed out the door to the doctors. Unlike many other children, Lillia loves the doctors. She loves taking her special books and sitting in the waiting room waiting for them to call HER name. Then everything is about her, like most doctors they check her weight, temperature, and ask her lots of questions. Well, this appointment they also did a hearing test, eye test, among a few other things. Everything went as smooth as a doctors visit could go. She was done got a sticker and some candy and we left.. As simple as that; we both loved the office and all the staff. We always go to our favorite restaurant for brunch after doctors appointments. We ordered our food and while we were waiting Lillia was much quieter than normal. So I asked her what was wrong she said that she never wanted to go back to the doctors and started crying. It was a perfect appointment I literally had no idea what to say or what to do. So we continued to talk after she calmed down and told me the reason why she didn’t want to go back. We decided later that day to call around and see if any other doctors would see her as a trial and see if she responded the same.. About a week later we saw a new doctor in a different office that did the same testings and physicals again. The appointments were completely identical to one another but she did not have the same reaction afterward. In the next day or two, we talked about how she was feeling and why she felt two completely different ways. In the end, she wanted to see the new doctor again so we decided to leave the doctor that we have been seeing for 3 years and absolutely loved for a new doctor and things have been fabulous ever since.
Our next big decision is about school. She will have full authority about what she will be doing next year. She will be 5, the decision will mold her entire life and she will be the one choosing what path she travels. We will discuss the pros and cons of each schooling type she has available and go from there. Do I sound crazy yet? I know what you’re going to say- ‘If she makes the choice that she doesn’t want to go to school you’re just going to let her not go then right’ Remember when I said she may not always have a final decision but she will be part of the process to make a final decision.